Vision

Vision-

Im getting pulled in by the tide, the waves stretching and reaching to take me away. Im grapsing at the sand. The sand? Yes, anything, trying to hold onto the shore so I’m not pulled out into the unknown. The crashing, the rushing, the water in my ears. I’m swimming against stream to avoid. To delay, to exert control. I lose gripping of the sand, my legs tired of trying to beat the tidal pull. And in the midst of tossing and tumbling in the salty waves, I return. I calm down, I glide, I am as fluid as the molecules tumbling over each other. Peacefully running with the direction, instead of fighting it. I look up, the top of the water like a glass floor, and see feet. He’s walking, reaching down His hand to pull me out of the water. I steady my feet and walk with Him, into the light that is calling.

Oh, God. My prayer.

Change my heart to not fight the tide, to have the courage to trust your hand while walking on the water.

NEW HOME-
http://royaltywriting.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/02/

Praise the LORD, oh my soul, when its all gone WRONG.

The Apostles Persecuted

¹⁷ Then the high priest and all his associates, who were members of the party of the Sadducees, were filled with jealousy. ¹⁸ They arrested the apostles and put them in the public jail. ¹⁹ But during the night an angel of the Lord opened the doors of the jail and brought them out. ²⁰ “Go, stand in the temple courts,” he said, “and tell the people all about this new life.”

²¹ At daybreak they entered the temple courts, as they had been told, and began to teach the people.

When the high priest and his associates arrived, they called together the Sanhedrin —the full assembly of the elders of Israel—and sent to the jail for the apostles. ²² But on arriving at the jail, the officers did not find them there. So they went back and reported, ²³ “We found the jail securely locked, with the guards standing at the doors; but when we opened them, we found no one inside.” ²⁴ On hearing this report, the captain of the temple guard and the chief priests were at a loss, wondering what this might lead to.

²⁵ Then someone came and said, “Look! The men you put in jail are standing in the temple courts teaching the people.” ²⁶ At that, the captain went with his officers and brought the apostles. They did not use force, because they feared that the people would stone them.

²⁷ The apostles were brought in and made to appear before the Sanhedrin to be questioned by the high priest.²⁸ “We gave you strict orders not to teach in this name,” he said. “Yet you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching and are determined to make us guilty of this man’s blood.”

²⁹ Peter and the other apostles replied: “We must obey God rather than human beings! ³⁰ The God of our ancestors raised Jesus from the dead —whom you killed by hanging him on a cross. ³¹ God exalted him to his own right hand as Prince and Savior that he might bring Israel to repentance and forgive their sins. ³² We are witnesses of these things, and so is the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to those who obey him.”

³³ When they heard this, they were furious and wanted to put them to death. ³⁴ But a Pharisee named Gamaliel,a teacher of the law, who was honored by all the people, stood up in the Sanhedrin and ordered that the men be put outside for a little while. ³⁵ Then he addressed the Sanhedrin: “Men of Israel, consider carefully what you intend to do to these men. ³⁶ Some time ago Theudas appeared, claiming to be somebody, and about four hundred men rallied to him. He was killed, all his followers were dispersed, and it all came to nothing. ³⁷ After him, Judas the Galilean appeared in the days of the census and led a band of people in revolt. He too was killed, and all his followers were scattered. ³⁸ Therefore, in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. ³⁹ But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.”

⁴⁰ His speech persuaded them. They called the apostles in and had them flogged. Then they ordered them not to speak in the name of Jesus, and let them go.

⁴¹ The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name. ⁴² Day after day, in the temple courts and from house to house, they never stopped teaching and proclaiming the good news that Jesus is the Messiah.

My prayer God, 

Change my heart to see suffering as honor, not tragedy. 

To help me understand how my heartbreak is respectable, because I partake with you in some of the deepest areas of your heart. 

LOVE

Thankfully, Jesus reminded me to keep writing.

Why? I don't know yet. 

What? I don't know that either.

So this has been on my mind lately. 

I think this best describes how I feel.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8V8tMK68M7U&feature=related

Since February is the month of love, and all things red and fatting, this is for you, Valentines Day.

And Im not sure what I need to say, right here. 

We all desire love, that is something that no one can argue. But if you are not in love with Jesus, I can guarantee that your source of love, in whatever form it may be, is not going to love you like He will. 

I'm falling more and more and MORE in love with Jesus. 

He knows my secrets, my failures, my hopes, my dreams, my sins, and yet He loves me.

I have turned my back from Him, and yet He is there wanting for me to come with more love than I can imagine. 

And I don't think I need to elaborate much, If you know Jesus, you can agree. And If you do not know Him, then I just pray that this Valentines Day, you fall in love. 

2/7/12

I could elaborate greatly on this, but, I suggest reading it and seeing what the Spirit wants you to hear.

Mary Slessor
http://www.wholesomewords.org/missions/bioslessor2.html


Gladys Aylward
http://www.tlogical.net/bioaylward.htm
 "Yet through all the service she had rendered and the fame she had acquired, she was never fully secure in her calling—particularly that God really wanted to entrust a woman with the responsibilities he had given her. In an interview during her later years she confided her doubts to a friend: “I wasn’t God’s first choice for what I’ve done for China. There was somebody else.… I don’t know who it was—God’s first choice. It must have been a man—a wonderful man. A well-educated man. I don’t know what happened. Perhaps he died. Perhaps he wasn’t willing.… And God looked down … and saw Gladys Aylward"

you won't understand this. and thats ok.

And my prayer is that I will see it as a blessed miracle in the end.
And not how I see it now, as my cross to bear.

That I will meet this with excitement,
not with dread



that i will think, beloved.
and not burden.

Stuck on Repeat

I always tell people if you want to get refined, work in a nursing home. I do love my job, and am very blessed to have it.
It seems I have been working out my "pet peeves" lately, things that absolutely drive me insane.
We all have them, one of mine is repeating myself.

There is this resident, that I love dearly. She tends to get confused about her surroundings and comes to me asking the same series of questions. I'm sure she asks me the same question anywhere from ten times a day, to five times in five mins. But I absolutely love her.

And it makes me more and more thankful for my God. How many times I ask him the same question over and over. And He doesn't grow tired or weary.  He is always there wanting to point me to where I should be.

Where am I? Do you know where I'm supposed to go? Have you seen my family?
God.. Whats going on? Whats next?

Day in and day out giving the same directions. Guiding her to the same places, where she should be.

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. Isaiah 40:28

“Favour is deceitful, and BEAUTY IS VAIN: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised” (Proverbs 31:30)


I realize how often I condemn men because I see there definition of beauty (physical) and then I try to fit it. 


1 Peter 3-4
Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—  but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.




Galatians 6:7
Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.


Jacob- The deceiver gets deceived. 
the heartbreaker gets heartbroken
the liar gets lied to


(and don't get me started on Rachel)
(and leah)




I find it... ironic that I believe men are completely incapable of love, 
(lust? yes, love? no) when Jesus was the perfect example of it. 
Aren't we supposed to be mirroring Christ? 

31

I never loved nobody fully/ Always one foot on the ground.

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:2 God is no mere human! He doesn't tell lies or change His mind. God always keeps His promises. (Numbers 23:19) 'Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.' - Romans 12:2 "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." - 2 Corinthians 5:1 Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners--of whom I am the worst. 1 Timothy 1:15

OFF HIATUS

oh my! it has been a while hasn't it? Update?
Im currently applying for a ATWDTS from YWAM in denver colorado.
torn labrum in my shoulder, surgery? ugh.
Love, death, etc etc.

uh, typing and typing to say such simple things.

God's been growing me in some areas that are pretty tough, but I'm thankful for them.

Love, everyone. Love the person that demeans you, Love the person that hates you, Love the person that makes fun of you for being a Christian, Love the person that doesn't love you (....and is supposed to) Love the dying, the hurt, the sick.
Matthew 5:26

If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? Love the inappropriate person, love the one that demands, love the one that is completely incapable of giving you anything. love the lost, love the ones that hit you, and curse you. Ah, how much sweeter it seems whenever I experience it. Experience "unconditional" love for others, love that is not returned. And it makes me love YOU more, it makes me see how love is truly wonderful and difficult. How I can't begin to even comprehend the love you have for me, whenever I'm ready to throw in the towel because someone is demanding me, hitting me, and cussing me. And it all seems so, easy, doesn't it? Ive been thinking about my relationship with God and how some of these truths seem to people who don't have a relationship with Him. Its all about love, that seems a little to simple, with the cheesy Beatles music behind a rainbow. Love is hard, love is tough, I could elaborate more on the subject but what else is there to say? if you can't see amazing strength in Christ's love, try loving someone who hates you. Trying loving someone who says mean things about you, who cusses you, who cuts you off in traffic. Then love the ones that kill you. And maybe its just me. I've never associated love with strength. But its the scariest, hardest thing to do.

Encourage. Encourage others whenever you feel as if your falling apart yourself.  Don't miss an opportunity to help a brother/sister preserver, or for Christ to set a captive free, just because "you don't feel like your in a good place to share the Gospel" Of course your going to feel a little different whenever your speaking truth over lies that have been believed for years.


And. Finally, one that I'm sure will have a resounding presence in the years to come of how I live my life. How thankful I am for that. Are we living by these truths? Am I living by these truths?


But, I just don't see it.
Maybe its America to blame, maybes its me, you, or tv, or celebrities, or accessibility. Maybe its all three. But I don't see truths in the Bible lived out here. Maybe I'm just called to Radical Christianity and want you to be too.

I am by no means trying to rebuke or demean my fellow brothers or sisters, leaders or church. I love you all and am thankful for your boldness for Christ. But to encourage us. I am seeing this of my life more then anything, something that God is showing me.

If we claim there is nothing for us here, why aren't we giving more? (why am I not giving more?)
If we claim that God will provide our every need, then why worry about actually giving our "extra" away? Why not give away that which we think we cannot give?! (why am I worried about giving my car away?)
If we believe that there is a real place called Hell, and a real God that loves us, why are we not sharing the Gospel? Why are waiting "for it to come up" why are we waiting to "have a relationship with them, and then they will know" Isn't there, and shouldn't there, be an urgency with the Gospel? Why share on mission trips, but not with your co workers? (why am I not living this way?)

And on and on.
I only pray that my life mirrors truth found in the Bible, that I lose myself in attempts to show others Christ. That I am "one of those weird, radical Christians"

I do want to say this as an encouragement, that if God is calling you to a radical lifestyle, or to do something radical (different, scary, big, big leap of faith, whatever!) or to live the Gospel a little more heavily in your life, that you won't be complacent because you see others that are.