Speeding up, to slow down.

It has been a while, since I've updated, yes.. I said I was going to try and keep it updated. But at least I havent abandoned it!


Things going on- This week consists of moving, new job, attempt to find a car, and other crazy life choices/happenings/decisions. Funny how fast things can speed up.


Central Asia (that would be sawweet)


Mercy, Love, Understanding and the lack thereof. 


Obedience and Disobedience.


Stillness in the midst of busyness.






How overwhelming, yet exciting is it that one could meditate on ONE verse from the Bible, and constantly gain new knowledge from it. 


Words/Verses as of late:


Understanding-


Philippians 4:7
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.




Faith-
James 5:17
Elijah was a man just like us, he prayed earnestly that it would not rain and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years.


Strength- 
Psalm 20: 7-8
Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm.




Freedom-

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."

2 Corinthians 3:17

10 down, 2 to go.

I said before I was going to try and keep this blog up, so here I am, an attempt.
Its strange, I feel as if I do not have that much to update on, but yet more at the same time. So here is what has been happening lately:


Nicaragua.
Colorado
"the cowardly will not see heaven"
Arabic
2 Corinthians 3:12-4:2 (v 16)
forgiveness
new job
haircut
prepare
photography

staying/going, change, cycles, repeating, stopping, boys, feelings, fears and freedom. 

I remember before I moved from Murfreesboro I had this feeling whenever I would drive around, that my life was going to change drastically, that I wouldn't be there much longer. That feeling has made its way back while I'm here, as well. Its not discontentment, just, as if change is in the air. It reminds me of the fourh of july, in a way. Waiting around all that day for the "big event". Lazy times, sitting in plastic chairs, roasting marshmallows, and catching up with family. Slowww times, time passes by slow and easy. Then all of a sudden, HUGE explosions go off that you've been waiting for all day. And both are equally as exciting, its just that feeling of whenever it just starts to get dark, you know its coming. Just a very sudden feeling, overall right now.

I'm sure that didnt make much sense, but sometimes its hard to convey such feelings that are hard to even describe to your self, in a way. 

It reminds me of this verse that God shows me a lot. Isaiah 66:9

almost as if you can see the contractions happening in your life for events that are about to happen. 

Alright, I might getting a little to metaphor happy, but I think I'm expressing myself well enough. 

Montana, Wyoming, and Colorado!

I havent updated since Ive been in Nicaragua, which seems to be years ago, and yesterday at the same time. I feel like God is wanting me to continue with the this blog, why, I am not sure yet, but here it continues!

After Nicaragua, I had a pretty uneventful month, a lot of reading and praying about what would come next, and what to do at the moment. During my stay in Nicaragua I prayed a lot about where God wanted me to go next. I knew He was telling me that I would move, but I wasn't sure where.
After much uncertainty about Nicaragua being the place, I tried once again for Africa.
Fail.
Well, not so much fail, just kept on getting "Wait, Samantha, not yet"
Finally after running from what I knew God was saying, I announced Colorado.
Colorado? Colorado?!
I know what you must be thinking, well what everyone around me is thinking," .... what? are you sure?!" I feel as if its one of those moments that we are so focused on our ideas, my own plan, and God shows you something that He wants for you. He keeps saying, I know whats best for you, follow me.
I must admit that I felt like a little kid throwing a temper tantrum,
"God, Colorado? Do you not know me? I will die in the cold!"  "I want to live somewhere else!"
After settling it in my heart, that I was acting like a child, God showed me more and more about Colorado. I feel excitement for it to be Colorado now, and I know God changed my heart about it.
So lately I have been getting prepared as much as I can for the move. I'll be moving back with my parents for a while, and then off to Colorado, in October (hopefully)

Do not get me wrong, at the very base of all this excitement is a feeling of missing everyone. I believe my parents have always seen this coming sooner or later, but I will miss them, and everyone so much.

Another note on what is going on with my life, I just got back from a mission trip to Montana. We worked with a church plant, and helped them put on a VBS for the kids. I found it a great time to learn more and more about depending on God. I will admit, I was indifferent about going to Montana, it was a place I never would have expected to go, and did not expect to love it as much. I knew God wanted me there, and I am so thankful for what He did while I was there. We spent some time in Yellowstone, and did some hiking as well. I was in awe the entire time I was there, seeing the beauty that God created, I kept thinking, how can anyone see this and not believe? Made some great friends, as well. Meredith, another girl that went on the trip as well, and I flew back, our flights were such a mess due to the hailstorm in Denver. Secretly we were hoping to have a little time to explore Denver, but I felt like God was saying "not yet".  Ah patience, not the most fun lesson to learn.

As of now, just still in the process of being faithful with that God has given me. It can be hard sometimes to tell people that I feel as if Ill be moving in a few months.. and really the only thing I know of it, is the state. Oh God puts us in situations where we depend more and more on Him. And isn't it awesome whenever He comes through. Been reading and writing ALOT. Another big thing is I feel as if God wants me to write a book... I keep having thoughts come to my mind such as... "Ah!" Hahaha. But, if it is from God, I know it will all work out.
Anyway, I'm going to try hard to keep this blog up!


yellowstone-

DAY THIRTY FOUR

Not even two months ago, I was in Managua, Nicaragua. A team from my church came down for a week long trip. It was my teams first day in this country, and we were all bright eyed about being in a new place. We worked with a girls home, earlier that morning we went to a church that has my heart, El Faro, and then had an afternoon of fellowship. We went to the Managua mall, walked around a bit and then watched a movie.
What does this have to do with your trip now, you may be asking?
I will tell you!

The last time I was walking around the mall, I was battling some serious issues in my heart. Heartache, and honestly I wanted to cry the entire time I was watching Rango (in Spanish that is). I wanted to turn around and go home. My heart was in my stomach, and I was hurting.

Today we went back to the mall, walked around for a bit before settling into the theater. Being in the same area made all those feelings rush back in. Memories of what had my heart so tangled kept replaying in my mind.

"That was two months ago Samantha"
"Haven't you grown since then?"
"Havent you changed?"

Before we got to our seats, I prayed.
"God, I know you can help me overcome this."
"God, I know I am overcoming this."
"Please help me have victory in this struggle"

We made it to our seats, and I felt a peace. I sat with one of my roommates, giggling and laughing. I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I enjoyed the movie, and wasn't wanting to cry the entire time. I had faith, contentment, and joy.

Psalms 30:11-12
You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever.

Day THIRTY THREE

The past few days have been  life as normal. Reading, church, working at E Puente, and finally got the light box done! It was nice getting it done, because apparently Sarah had been wanting one for a while, so it nice getting something done for her that she has been wanting. Its getting hotter here, it seems. As if that was possible.

I havent updated in a while, mainly because life is.. getting routine here, and what could feel like "normal". Which is good, because teams are coming, and apparently that is a hectic week, a mess up to my normal :) So its a good week before that. I have about 12 or so days until I come home. Crazy huh?

Another reason I haven't updated in awhile, is because I feel like what God has been showing me, and teaching me might be a little personal for a blog. But as much as I preach transparency, I need to practice what I preach. So here are some thoughts, and notes from my journal.

Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33

And the peace of God transcends all understanding. Philippians 4:7


"You do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men..." Mark 8:33

Be comfortable, and be content with my own identity. I might seem boring, because I'm quiet and serious. Because the majority of my conversations are centered on God, and the other percent is on politics, documentaries, foreign affairs, and artistic nature. But that's how God made me..
Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

Constant renewal of your mind.  Romans 12: 2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.


An excitement, a feeling of seeking, searching, and growing. That I am part of a journey to have the most amazing relationship, to get to know Love even more day by day.

And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 2 Corinthians 3:18

DAY TWENTY OCHO.

Yesterday was a pretty relaxed day, staying in, reading, and went out to our friends dance performance. It was a traditional performance of Nica dance. Very... well, it was pretty much the same dance for an hour. But still, it was nice being asked to go, and it was nice just being part of it.

Today we went to the beach. We packed up and caught a few different buses, got to the beach, and it was so beautiful.
On the way to the beach, I had thoughts surfacing that I knew I should get out of mind right away.
Impatience for things that God has shown me.
Starting to worry about going home.
To no job, no money, and not knowing what comes next.

After playing in the water for a bit, I cozyed up in this hammock and started to read. God was showing me so many amazing things in His word, but these thoughts kept creeping back in.
And He said look around.
And I saw the waves crashing together, the horizon line, and the infinite amount of sand.
And God said:

While looking at the horizon line, so far that I couldn't see into its end.
Psalms 103:12
12 as far as the east from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us

While looking at the waves crashing together, so close I could smell the salt.
Job 38:8-11
⁸ “Who shut up the sea behind doors
   when it burst forth from the womb,
⁹ when I made the clouds its garment
   and wrapped it in thick darkness,
¹⁰ when I fixed limits for it
   and set its doors and bars in place,
¹¹ when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther;
   here is where your proud waves halt’?

And when looking at the sand, infinite in number.
Psalms 139:17-18
¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
   How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ Were I to count them,
   they would outnumber the grains of sand—
   when I awake, I am still with you

And I almost had to laugh out loud. Looking around where I was at, wondering about my future. God has taken care of me through everything. He has "taken me out of Egypt" and through every single struggle, every tear and heartache. He healed it all. He isn't going to stop here.

It’s Your love that we adore
It’s like a sea without a shore
We’re lost in You, we’re lost in You
It’s Your love that we adore
It’s like a sea without a shore
We’re lost in You, we’re lost in You

DAY TWENTEY SIX

Wednesday we went to the train station, after Bible study.Where my roommate has been building relationships with these sweet little kids. We sat by the lake and played with them. The barrios line beside the lake, its really... pretty actually. They played with our digital cameras, taking pictures.

And I started thinking about these verses:

And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. “Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.
(Matthew 18:2-6 ESV)

I loved sitting with those children, playing with them, and thinking to myself, "What can I do to be more like them?" To have a more childlike faith for my Father. To have a more childlike attitude in this life. Those children had such a beauty, a freedom.
How children go to their parents whenever in need, their dependence is on someone else.
   And isn't that how we should be with out Father? Depending on Him for everything, instead of depending on ourselves? How amazing that is, that we have a Father that provides, and wants us to come to Him. For EVERYTHING.

How children have so little worry about "tomorrow', about the future. Playing with bubbles, and putting glitter in someones hair, is top priority.
  And I'm not saying we shouldn't look to the future, but God wants us to trust in Him, so that the future isn't a worry, or burden to us.

Yesterday I  helped with the Jicaro project in the morning. Walked around town trying to finish the light box for Sarah, which is always interesting. I love seeing more about how things are done here, and I like it. Walk into a house, or an alley to find wood, or  get such and such done. Its a different life style, and parts of it are growing on me.

Today we had Bible study, it was completely in Spanish, but it was amazing how God still said what I needed to hear in that time. Afterward I helped sort through some children's ministry supplies.I'm excited to see what is left in the rest of the time that I have here.